Naruto goes Dr Phil!
by pinkie maz
Summary: IThe Naruto gang are in need for some serious counciling! So what do they decied to do? Try make there very own cheep version of Dr.Phill of course! On this show you'll find out just how many problems these guys exactly have... It's interactive!


**In a news room somewhere in the depths of the Hidden leaf, Naruto, Sakura, Kiba, Hinata, Ten-ten, Neji, Shino and Amaya are up to something that can only end in a disaster…**

Naruto: Is it on?….hello?…1...2...3...testing?

Amaya: *mutters* he's such a dobe… *turns his mic on*

Naruto: IS IT ON?!?!?!

Everyone in the studio: NO DUH!!…..dobe…

Naruto: *glares* I will KILL Sasuke for starting that…

Sakura: *hits him on the head* Naruto we're live! *smiles at camera apologetically*

Naruto: *blinks* oh…uhh…what was my line again?

Kiba: *working camera* BOO! Get of the stage!

Hinata: *giggles*

Naruto: Hinata noooo!!! Don't turn your back on me!!

Sakura: What part of live don't you get?!

Amaya: *Why did I chose the Naruto characters when there were perfectly good Bleach characters…..?*

Ten-ten: she's doubting us isn't she?

Neji: Yep…

Naruto: Is that what Destiny told you?

Neji: *glares* Byak-

Amaya: SHUT UP!! We're already 1 page into the chapter and the readers, if they haven't already given up, don't have a clue what's going on!

Kiba: You guys do know this is live right?

Shino: *cricket cricket*

Everyone: o.O …..wtf?

Shino: *ribert ribert*

Amaya: Umm….Rib rib, ribert, rib, ribert?

Shino: Ribert!

Amaya: heh…heh…^_^" *FREAK!!!*

Hinata: M-Maybe we s-should start?

Sakura: Agreed! Hello and welcome to-

Naruto: I thought I was doing the opening!!

Ten-ten: Remind me again why we let him be one of the hosts?

Neji: As surprising as it may seem, people actually _like_ Naruto…*face darkens* I've even heard he has…*gulp*…fan girls

Ten-ten: Are they mentally ill?!?!

Neji: Most likely.

Amaya: Oi! Yeah you, the old married couple in the back, shut up!

Ten-ten & Neji: *blush but effectively shut up*

Sakura: *cough* hello and welcome to Opra!

Amaya: It's not opra!

Sakura: ….it's not?…but then..

Ino who is somewhere know one cares about: *snickers*

Sakura: INO PIG!!!

Naruto: 3 pages!

Kiba: I think this must be the LONGEST time it's taken to introduce a show…

Hinata: N-No wonder L-Lady Tsunde said I-it was a bad I-idea

Neji: She thought it was a bad idea because one of us is bound to mention the SU around the AR *nods to a clueless Amaya*

Naruto: What the hell is a SU? and we're not anywhere near a AR machine!

Ten-ten: …Hinata what do you _see _in him?

Hinata: *blushes bright red*

Kiba: Yeah that's it guys, keep discussing things like morons on life national t.v….

Naruto: shut up dog breath!

Kiba: *growls*

Amaya: -_-" Ok, enough! We are going to have an introduction, and were going to have it NOW!!! PLACES!!

**Naruto and Sakura run to sit behind a desk next to Amaya, Ten-ten grabs the queue cards, Neji gets the mic thingy(seriously what's that fluffy thing?!) and Kiba aims the camera at the desk. While Hinata and Shino go to a computer and other technical stuff.**

Sakura: *gulps* H-hello and welcome to Naruto goes Dr. Phil! Where we will invite up members of the Naruto cast and help them with their issues!! ^-^

Neji: Who came up with that shit idea?

Amaya: *cough cough*

Neji: *gulps*

Amaya: You DO KNOW what power I have don't you?

Neji: Y-Yes Amaya sir!

Amaya: Good, don't bad mouth me or my ideas unicorn, or Maz won't have a problem writing a couple chapters of torture for you!

Ten-ten:…hey! How come Maz favours you?!

Amaya: She created me duh

Naruto: FAVOURITISM!!

Sakura: This introduction is an epic fail…

Orichmaru: So's your face!

Kiba: Ok, who let the rapist in?!

Orichmaru: I have come with a message…from Sasuke-kun..

Amaya: *freezes*

Sakura: Aww crap…now she's going to go emo on our asses again…

Orichmaru: *takes out note* Dear Orichigayboy, when you read this your entire life savings will be burnt and every secret hide out you have destroyed. I refuse to be your gay 'toy' whatever the fuck that is and now you're a hobo with no home….Sasuke. *laughs* Ha! In your faces!

Everyone excluding Amaya and Oreo: HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!

Oreo: *re-reads note* SASUKE-KUN!!! *cries*

Kiba: *aims camera at Orichmaru*

Oreo: SASUKE-KUN!!! WHY!!

Amaya: *steps in front of camera* and that my friends, is why we are here, to help these poor Naruto characters…ok maybe not him but everyone else!

Orichmaru: *stops crying and perveritily smiles* Why hello their child, I haven't seen you before…

Naruto: Someone remind me again why Sasuke left us for him -_-

Everyone: NARUTO!!!

Naruto: What'd I do now?!

Ten-ten: THAT!! *points at Amaya who is in emo corner*

Naruto:…..OH SASUKE'S SU FOR SAUSKE UCHIHAHA AND AR STANDS FOR AMAYA RAIN!

Amaya: *rocks back and forth with depressing cloud above head*

Kiba: *Face palms and looks up at the sky* Please can we switch Naruto for another character? Please? Hell! We'll take Gai and Lee if it means we don't have to work with him!!

Neji: speak for yourself!

Naruto: Hippocryte!

Neji: I always speak for myself!

Naruto: No you always speak for 'Destiny'

Neji: NARUTO!!!

Sakura: *nervously points camera to self while crashing noises are hear din background* Well folks!, join us next time and we promise to have a PROPPER introduction! And hopefully Amaya won't go emo…and Orichmaru won't show his ugly face…hehe tune in next time! Bye!

*cheesy music starts to play as credits roll on screen*

Kiba: What the Fu- *gets hit in the face with his name and screen goes blank*

~~~fuzz flash fuzz~

Deidara: Well…that was….interesting..

White Zetsu: Like hell

Black Zetsu: It was

Sasori: I hate it when they do that…

Itachi: I recognize the blonde girl…

Deidara: *raises eyebrow* Itachi…I didn't think you went for young girls, I mean she's young enough to date your brother!

Itachi: *slaps upside the head* Shut up emo Barbie

Deidara: I'm not emo! And I'm not Barbie!

Sasori: I think I know who were sending to Naruto goes Dr. Phill…

White Zetsu: Sounds

Black Zetsu: Good

Sasori: -_- …..how is it you recognize the blonde girl Itachi?

Itachi: ….I don't quite know…Sasuke, he has something to do with it..

Deidara: Go figure

White Zetsu: I love!

Black Zetsu: that film!

Deidara: o.O uh….ok…..

Sasori: Itachi what are you doing?

Itachi: finding a dress for emo Barbie

Deidara: WTF?!?! WHY?!?!

Itachi: Your name is going to be Ara Died, your going to be there first guest

Deidara: LIKE HELL I AM! Oh by the way REAL creative name there Itachi…

Itachi: Shut up or I'll make you wear the pink dress!

Sasori: Well this should be interesting…Akatsuki are going to be on a cheap version of dr. Phill…

White Zetsu: This is gonna

Black Zetsu: Be a blast!!

Deidara: BLAST is my word!

Itachi: shut up emo and get in the dress *hands fluffy pink dress*

Deidara: *takes it sulkily* Why am I always the cross dresser?!?!?

*Maz and a Leprechaun pop up*

Maz: Well guys, there it is! The introduction to Naruto goes Dr. Phil! Now for all the people who might watch Dr. Phil…well I'm sorry if I get the idea all wrong! I've only scene parodies of his show…

Leprechaun: Arr, I have banana peels shoes!

Maz: ..umm…ok.. Anyways! I hope to make this show interactive ^_^ But for me to do that, I'll need your help! You can come onto the show if you have issues with a character, for example…..

Bobgina: Sasuke-kun is always being emo! He has no time for me! I love him but he's such an ass!

Maz: Then we would talk through the subject with you….

Sakura: And Sasuke, how do you feel about being called an ass?

Sasuke: Like I give a dam! Why am I here?!

Maz: Of course we will try come to a conclusion to your problem, but before we can get there we have to embarrass the crap out of the characters ^-^

Leprechaun: Yar, banana peel shoes is good, yar just like in the navy

Maz: ….right…. So! Do you have any issues with a member of the Naruto cast? And yes, it can be ANY member, dead or live, a member of Naruto goes Dr. Phil or not-

Kiba: Dam! I thought JOINING the show would save me…

Maz: *where did Kiba come from?* ……. *blinks* Where was I? Oh yeah! You can even pretend to be a character from a whole different anime who might have a problem with one of these rapist! I don't mind, just as long as it's slightly relevant! Now Leprechaun, take it away!

Leprechaun: *talks in very fast voice* Maz is not the owner of any of the Naruto characters, the only characters she owns are Amaya, Herself and I. She is not responsible for any mental trauma, heart attacks, blindness, nightmares or mental health damage caused by reading this chapter. She is however responsible for her watermelon.

* * *

**Hehe, here are a few notes I made while re-reading this freak of nature ^0^**

**1. There in some kind of news studio, you know with the desks and papers and flashy screens?**

**2. Ha, I HAD to mak eKiba the one who makes sarcastic remarks XP**

**3. Hinata was only stuttering because Naruto was in the room! And I tried not to make her stutter much.. Or did I go overboard? O.O**

**4. Has you may have guessed I'm not good with describing stuff, so a computer and technical stuff is probably the most your gonna get out of me X3**

**5. when the credits rolled, it would have been rolling over them, and they could have been dodging from the words…I don't know what I was thinking…probably zombies and peppercorns..**

**6. I'm TERRIBLE ate writing the akatsuki members, hell! I can't even spell it! So has you may have guessed, it will probably be more focused on Naruto and 'the gang' What are we? In Scooby do or something?**

**7. This was ONLY the introduction! In future chapters(I hope..) it won't take a whole page on word doc to start discussing the actual show ^0^**

**So what did you think? Was it rubbish? Lame? Terrible? Dare I say it…good? *hides from rotten veg been thrown my way* I would really appreciate it if you commented, a simple 'g' or 'b' would be appreciated XD **

**I'm not going to pressure you ^-^ I do have some back up plans if people don't comment, like doing a chapter on Emo Barbie being an suicide boomer. Or Gaara and his 'issues' hell I could write a whole over storey for his issues!**

**If you have any ideas then please share! I shall give you full credit! XP**

**Anyways I hope it was ok ^^, it IS my first time writing something like this, so be nice! Or mean…I don't really care just comment!**

**Oh...about the Maz bit, well you see, I've also posted this storey on DeviantART so it looked better on there :3**

**Review?**


End file.
